Wow! I haven’t updated in nearly a month! I’m sorry but I’ve had exams literally every week this month including a Psychology exam this Wed and a paper tomorrow so I’ve been pretty busy.
Quite a bit has happened for me this past month. Because of my changing majors this semester I found out last week I won’t be able to graduate until 2012. At first I was quite upset by this. Originally I had taken dual enrollment courses in high school to graduate a year early. I could be graduating next year if I had stayed in pre-law. In addition, my academic state scholarship only lasts for four years after high school graduation so I will need some alternative assistance my senior year.
Yet as I look at the situation now I’m not as upset about it. For once I’ll stop trying to cram in so many classes to try to graduate ahead. Instead of summer school I’ll try to get a job this summer to get some life outside of school. I’m only 19 anyway, I don’t need and now I’m realizing I don’t even want a fancy degree by 21. Going into nursing has changed my path in life quite a bit already but I do not regret it. I will probably never have a J.D or M.D or some other fancy title behind my name. Yet I’m actually quite happy with my life right now. Yes, I get impatient quite a bit but I honestly think I need the extra time in school to grow up some. I’ve learned so much about myself just by moving out of my parents’ house last fall and I need to learn more before becoming a full fledged adult.
It excites and scares me how much I have changed since graduating high school two years ago. I visited my parents and church during Valentine’s weekend since my church was having a Valentine’s banquet. I enjoyed seeing people I haven’t seen in awhile yet going back to my home town reminds me how I’ve changed.
Yet throughout all these changes I’ve been reminded of my identity in God. Over the past years I’ve tried to find my indentity in my grades, political views, career ambitions, church, and a romantic relationship. Even though I’ve been a Christian since I was eight, I didn’t begin to get saved until I was almost 19 last summer. My identity is not in any of those things I listed above. I don’t always feel this way but I know that my identity as a child of God is secure even when I don’t feel like it is. God’s attitude towards me will never change regardless of who I am or what I do. Sometimes I have a hard time accepting this especially since I realize that I can never live up to the ideal “Christian life”. Yet understanding this will help me with whatever happens in life.
